The record for most petrol jokes in one week – Mar 15 2026

Plus: my own acrostic and a jerrycan of unleaded
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15 Mar 2026

 Headshot

Matt Pritchett

Telegraph Cartoonist

Hello!

I hope you’re well. I went to see the Elvis documentary, inventively named EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert (I see what you did there) this week, and I couldn’t recommend it more if you’re a fan of The King.

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy My Art This Time.

 
tuesday
tuesday

Matt's Tuesday cartoon. Two men lean over the bow of the HMS Dragon. The caption reads: 'Have you seen the price of fuel? Could we ask the Americans to tow us to Cyprus?'

It’s hard to draw cartoons during times of conflict because you never know what will change overnight and suddenly become a lot less funny. As such, I have been focusing more on fuel this week – nothing says laugh out loud like the rising cost of a global resource.

I was glad to hear that the HMS Dragon finally got under way, and only a week late. It’s nice that our modes of transport run on the same delayed schedules no matter how important they are. We are all equal in the eyes of the British operational bureaucracy.

 
wednesday
wednesday

Matt's Wednesday cartoon. A man goes back to his wife at the car of the petrol station. The caption reads: 'It's worse than I feared. Their tins of travel mints are stuck in the Strait of Hormuz.'

Yes, it does seem we didn’t massively think things through when we decided everything should go through this one teeny tiny canal no one had ever heard of before.

 
thursday
thursday

Matt's Thursday cartoon. A couple are talking over breakfast. The caption reads: 'Peter Mandelson demanded £550,000. That's very nearly a whole tank of unleaded!'

Of course I had to get a jab in at Mandelson in this week, who was pictured alongside Epstein and the artist formerly known as Prince Andrew at what seems to be either the world’s worst boys’ trip or a robe convention – hard to tell. The disgraced former ambassador managed to still wangle £77k in severance pay, despite his close friendship with Epstein.

 
friday
friday

Matt's Friday cartoon. A man is talking to his friend holding a fuel jerrycan. The caption reads: 'While Ed Miliband was busy rejecting North Sea oil, I siphoned the petrol out of his ministerial car'.

If you thought we were running out of steam on the petrol jokes, you would be wrong. Ironically, the subject is proving rather sustainable on the cartoons front.

 
saturday
saturday

Matt's Saturday cartoon.

If this cartoon is your first realisation of what day it is today, I’m sorry to say it may already be too late for you.

 
sunday
sunday

Matt's Sunday cartoon.

If you’re unconvinced by Trump’s military prowess due to the childish way he’s naming operations, you would be completely right. Sometimes you should judge a book by its cover and this week it was confirmed by Britain’s greatest military expert that the book is “strategically pretty appalling”.

 

I hope you did remember Mother’s Day and you’re having a lovely time with your family. It’s my daughter’s first one as a mother so we’ll be round hers for lunch soon.

Until next time,

Matt's Signature

P.S. Anything for some spending money.

the unseen sketch

Matt's Unseen Cartoon

 

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